A boy, frustrated with all the rules he had to follow, asked his father, "Dad, how soon will I be old enough to do whatever I want?"
The father answered immediately, "I don't know. Nobody has lived that long yet."
THOMAS EDISON'S MOTHER:
"Of course I'm proud that you invented the electric light bulb. Now, turn it off and get to bed!"
ABRAHAM LINCOLN'S MOTHER:
"Again with the stovepipe hat? Can't you just wear a baseball cap like the other kids?"
ALBERT EINSTEIN'S MOTHER:
"But it's your senior picture. Can't you do something about your hair? OH! Styling gel, Mousse, Something...?"
COLUMBUS' MOTHER:
"I don't care what you've discovered, You still could have written!"
MICHELANGELO'S MOTHER:
"Can't you paint on walls like other children? Do you have any idea how hard it is to get that stuff off the ceiling?"
My kids were fighting over their toys. I warned them if they kept it up I would take the toys away. They didn’t stop so I took them away to teach them a lesson.
Afterwards, they were still fighting. I said, “That’s it!” and gave them their toys back.
Lesson learned.
The wife was angry. The man then said," Ask me any question and I'll answer honestly."
The wife asked," What were you doing last night?"
The man answered, "Honestly?"
Legend says the man is now single.