A very small boy was trying to lead a big St. Bernard up the road.
"Where are you taking that dog, little man?" asked a man watching the struggle.
"I"m going to see where he wants to go," was the breathless reply.
"Those are fighting words where I come from!"
"Well, then why don't you fight?!?!"
"Cause I ain't where I come from!"
A couple of guys were discussing the latest play showing in the theater.
"I saw the first act, but not the second."
"I couldn't wait that long. It said on the program that the second act was two years later."
"Last week a grain of sand got into my wife's eye and she had to go to the doctor. It cost me fifty dollars."
"That's nothing, last week a fur got in my wife's eye and it cost me five hundred dollars."