THOMAS EDISON'S MOTHER:
"Of course I'm proud that you invented the electric light bulb. Now, turn it off and get to bed!"

ABRAHAM LINCOLN'S MOTHER:
"Again with the stovepipe hat? Can't you just wear a baseball cap like the other kids?"

ALBERT EINSTEIN'S MOTHER:
"But it's your senior picture. Can't you do something about your hair? OH! Styling gel, Mousse, Something...?"

COLUMBUS' MOTHER:
"I don't care what you've discovered, You still could have written!"

MICHELANGELO'S MOTHER:
"Can't you paint on walls like other children? Do you have any idea how hard it is to get that stuff off the ceiling?"

Mr. Smith who was out of work met Mr. Jones at the local coffee shop.

Mr. Jones: "I heard you were offered a job and turned it down?"

Mr. Smith: "Yes, it was to be the President/CEO of a new communications company. I turned it down as there was no room for advancement."

Theater patron 1: "There was a fire in the dressing room of the star backstage. The firemen were there for six hours."

Theater patron 2: "Am I understanding you correctly that it took six hours to put out a fire in the dressing room?"

Theater patron 1: "Oh no, it took only one hour to put out the fire. It took another five hours to put out the fireman."