When my three-year-old son opened the birthday gift from his grandmother, he discovered a water pistol. He squealed with delight and headed for the nearest sink.
I was not so pleased. I turned to Mom and said, "I'm surprised at you. Don't you remember how we used to drive you crazy with water guns?"
Mom smiled and then replied, "Oh I remember!"
Son: “Hey Dad, how does a sundial work?”
Dad: (hands son a phone) “Okay, now just call someone.”
Son: “Why can’t you do it?”
Dad: “Because that would be a DADdial.”
Teddy came thundering down the stairs, much to his father's annoyance.
"Teddy," he called, "how many more times do I have I to tell you to come downstairs quietly? Now, go back upstairs and come down like a civilized human being."
There was a silence, and Teddy reappeared in the front room.
"That's better," said his father. "Now in the future you will always come downstairs like that."
"OK," said Teddy cheerily. "I slid down the railing!"
A couple with three children waited in line at San Francisco's Pier 41 to purchase tickets for a boat trip to Alcatraz. Others watched with varying degrees of sympathy and irritation as the young children fidgeted, whined, and punched one another. The frazzled parents reprimanded them to no avail.
Finally they reached the ticket window. "Five tickets, please," the father said. "Two round trip, three one way."