family jokes
Favorite this joke A man went to buy his wife a new bra but had no idea what size she needed. Sales lady tried to help him. She asked, "Is your wife shaped like a grapefruit?"
"No, not a grapefruit."
"Is she shaped like an orange?"
"Um no, not an orange."
"Is she shaped like an egg?"
Man's face lights up, "Yes, that's it! Like a fried egg!"
Father buys a lie detector that makes a loud beep whenever somebody tells a lie. The son comes home in the afternoon.
Father asks him, “So, you were at school today, right?”
Son: “Yeah.”
Detector: “Beep.“
Son: “OK, OK, I was at the movies.”
Detector: “Beep.”
Son: “Alright, I went for a beer with my friends.”
Father: “What?! At your age, I wouldn’t touch alcohol!“
Detector: “Beep.”
Mother laughs: “Ha! He really is your son!”
Detector: “Beep.”
When my three-year-old son opened the birthday gift from his grandmother, he discovered a water pistol. He squealed with delight and headed for the nearest sink.
I was not so pleased. I turned to Mom and said, "I'm surprised at you. Don't you remember how we used to drive you crazy with water guns?"
Mom smiled and then replied, "Oh I remember!"
Son: “Hey Dad, how does a sundial work?”
Dad: (hands son a phone) “Okay, now just call someone.”
Son: “Why can’t you do it?”
Dad: “Because that would be a DADdial.”
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