family jokes

"Dad," I said to my father on Father's Day, "it's Father's Day today! As a gift, I want to take you and mom out for a great day!"

"Thank you, my son," said my father, taking a deep draw from his cigarette. "If you really want to get me a gift, just take your mom out for the whole day."

As my family was leaving Disney World, my daughter waved and said, "Goodbye Minnie!"

My son waved and said, "Goodbye Mickey!"

I waved and said, "Goodbye money!"

Why was the little shoe sad?

Because his Mother was a sneaker and his Dad was a loafer.

"It's not about how tired you are, it's about how tired you're making everyone else."

- My husband explaining bedtime to the kids -