The teacher asks Suzy where her nose is, and Suzy points to it. Next, she asks Freddy where his ears are, and he points to them. Then she asked little johnny where his heart is, johnny points to his behind,
The teacher said, "No, that is not right. Let's try again. Where is your heart?"
Again, Johnny points to his behind and explains, "Every time my grandma comes over she give me a hug, pats my behind, and says 'Bless your heart.'"
When asked by his grandchildren to describe his retirement Grandpa proudly answered, "It's great! Some days at 3:00 pm I take off my pajamas and get dressed, and some days at 3:00 pm I put on my pajamas and get ready for early dinner and bed!"
Laura and Freddy are cousins, and their grandma is babysitting them for the day. Although Freddy's mom is the renowned chef in the family, Laura's mom prepared lunch earlier, including potatoes in the oven.
But one fell and got badly burnt. Grandma jumped on the occasion to show the kids how to draw with it on a piece of paper.
Sadly, Freddy frowned and then observed, "My mom would NEVER burn potatoes for me."
Husband and wife were golfing when suddenly the wife asked, “Honey, if I died, would you get married again?”
The husband said, “No sweetie.”
The woman said, “I’m sure you would.”
So the man said, “Okay, I would.”
Then the woman asked, “Would you let her sleep in our bed?”
And the man replied, “Ya, I guess so.”
Then the wife asked, “Would you let her use my golf clubs?”
And the husband replied, “No, she’s left handed.”