family jokes

Laura and Freddy are cousins, and their grandma is babysitting them for the day. Although Freddy's mom is the renowned chef in the family, Laura's mom prepared lunch earlier, including potatoes in the oven.

But one fell and got badly burnt. Grandma jumped on the occasion to show the kids how to draw with it on a piece of paper.

Sadly, Freddy frowned and then observed, "My mom would NEVER burn potatoes for me."

Husband and wife were golfing when suddenly the wife asked, “Honey, if I died, would you get married again?”

The husband said, “No sweetie.”

The woman said, “I’m sure you would.”

So the man said, “Okay, I would.”

Then the woman asked, “Would you let her sleep in our bed?”

And the man replied, “Ya, I guess so.”

Then the wife asked, “Would you let her use my golf clubs?”

And the husband replied, “No, she’s left handed.”

Father: “Son, you were adopted.”
 
Son: “What?! I knew it! I want to meet my biological parents!”
 
Father: “We are your biological parents. Now pack up, the new ones will pick you up in 20 minutes.”

"Are you writing a thank you letter to Grandma like I told you to?"

"Yes, Mom."

"Your handwriting seems very large, why is that?"

"Well, Grandma can't hear well, so I'm writing very loudly."