Six-year old Angie and her four-year old brother, Joel, were sitting together in church. Joel giggled, sang and talked out loud. Finally, his big sister had had enough. "You're not supposed to talk out loud in church."
"Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel asked.
Angie pointed to the back of the church and said, "See those two men standing by the door? They're hushers."
An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and told her preacher she had two final requests.
First, she wanted to be cremated. Second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Walmart.
"Walmart?" the preacher exclaimed. "Why Walmart?"
"Then I'll be sure my daughters will visit me twice a week."
A dad grew increasingly displeased as his teenage daughter and her boyfriend studied in her room late one evening. Finally losing his patience, he knocked sharply on her door. Her boyfriend immediately opened it and asked if something was wrong.
"I have to ask you to move your car," the father exclaimed.
"Oh, sure. Is it in someone's way?"
"No," the dad replied, "it's at the wrong address."
Friend 1: My mother thinks I am very bright.
Friend 2: Did she say so?
Friend 1: No, but she keeps calling me "SUN".