family jokes

Daisy whispered in her husband’s ear, “Ask my mother about dinner.”

Donald, her husband, obediently asked, “Mother-in-law, did you have dinner at home or would you like to go back home and have it?”

Newlywed Husband: "Are we still planning on having children, dear?"

Newlywed Wife: "Well, considering how many times I've dropped my iPhone in the past, I really think that we should hold off on this whole baby thing for awhile."

Little Jenny: Hi Mommy, where is Daddy?

Mother: He's lying on the couch and has been watching baseball all day. Why do you ask?

Little Jenny: I wanted to tell him what we learned in school today.

Mother: Oh yeah sweetie, and what was that?

Little Jenny: Well, the teacher taught us that the human body has 270 bones at birth and 206 by adulthood.

Mother: Wow Jenny! I did not know that, but I'm afraid that your teacher is incorrect when it comes to your Father though.

Little Jenny: Really Mommy, why is that?

Mother: Because he has an extra one, for a total of 207. It's named the Lazy-bone.