My boss yelled at me the other day, “You’ve got to be the worst train driver in history. How many trains did you derail last year?"
I said, "Can’t say for sure, it’s so hard to keep track!"
Daisy whispered in her husband’s ear, “Ask my mother about dinner.”
Donald, her husband, obediently asked, “Mother-in-law, did you have dinner at home or would you like to go back home and have it?”
"Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!"
"Don't worry, sir, the spider in your salad will get it."
Why don't eggs tell jokes?
They'd crack each other up!