The letters C, M, I, V, and X try to walk into a club.
The number 8 is standing menacingly at the door, pointing to a sign that says NUMBERS ONLY!
Quick thinking, the M says, "We're roman!"
My doctor was giving me a hard time about my health. To get back on his good side I bought a puppy and named him 'Five Miles'.
That way, when I went to see my doctor I could tell him, "I walk five miles every morning!"
A woman sitting at her deceased husband's funeral. A man leans in to her and ask, "Do you mind if I say a word?"
"No, go right ahead," the woman replies.
The man stands and clears his throat, then says "Plethora" and sits back down.
"Thanks," the woman says, "that means a lot."