All my life I thought air was free…

Until I bought a bag of chips.

Teacher: Why are you late?

Little Johnny: There was an old man that lost a hundred dollar bill.

Teacher: Were you helping him search for it? How nice of you.

Little Johnny: Actually I was sitting on it, waiting for him to give up searching and leave.

It always irked my mother that her grocery store didn’t carry eggs in packages of six—just by the dozen.

Then one day, her wish came true. She walked into the grocery and found fresh eggs in cartons of six!

She was so excited, she bought two!