Two prison guards are changing shifts in the morning.
“You know that a prisoner ran off in the night?”
The other guard sighs, “Ah finally, no more of that dang hammering!”
Dentist: "You need a crown."
Patient: "Finally, someone who understands me."
“Darling, I think the new dryer is shrinking my clothes.”
“No, sweetie, that was the fridge.”
Is there rehab for gossiping?
I don't need it, but I'll tell you who does...