Michelle: I hear you broke off your engagement to Rob. Why?
Irina: It's just that my feelings toward him weren't the same any more.
Michelle: Are you returning the ring?
Irina: No way! My feelings toward the ring haven't changed one bit!
A woman walked up to an elderly man rocking in a chair on his porch.
“I couldn’t help noticing how happy you look,” she said. “What’s your secret for a long, happy life?”
“I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day,” he said. “I also drink a case of whiskey a month, eat fatty foods and never exercise.”
“That’s amazing,” the woman said. “How old are you?”