Why did the chicken cross the road?
He was practicing good Social Distancing.
A scientist finally realizes his dream of creating a formula for becoming invisible. Entering the family home, he trips over a mysterious unseeable lump. The mystery quickly unraveled after finding a note left by his less scientific sibling written as follows:
Hope you don’t mind. I’ve borrowed your formula to do some tests of my own. First, I will run through walls! Second...
Three worms poke out of the ground.
Talking about the third worm, the first worm says to the second, ”Who’s that?”
The second worm says, ”You could say that’s my better half.”
The first worm says, ”You're married?”
The second worm says, ”No, it’s my butt.”
My history teacher gave me an “F” for a final grade.
When I asked her why she failed me she said, “I didn’t fail you. You failed yourself.”
I said, “In that case, I think I’m going to change my grade.”