family jokes

At the mall, my five-year-old grandson joined the other children in line waiting to sit on the Easter Bunny’s lap. When it was his turn, Jake didn’t move; he just stared.

“Don’t you want to sit on the bunny’s lap?” I asked.

“No!” he shouted. “There’s a man in his mouth!”

A man finished baby-proofing his house and his wife says, "Aw, honey, I thought you said you didn't want to have kids?"

He responds, "I don't. Let's see them get in now."

A man is stunned when his hot, newly divorced neighbor knocks at his door. He answers eagerly and she asks him, "Are you free tonight?"

He blurts out, "Yes!"

She asks, "Great! Would you watch my kids?"

During a lesson about adjectives, my friend, an elementary school teacher, asked her class to describe their mothers. One boy described his mother’s hair as auburn.

Impressed by his sophisticated word choice, my friend asked, “How do you know her hair color is auburn?”

Her student replied, “Because that’s what it says on the box.”