My mother was away all weekend at a business conference. During a break, she decided to call home, collect.
My six-year-old brother picked up the phone and heard a stranger’s voice say, "We have a Marcia on the line. Will you accept the charges?"
Frantic, he dropped the receiver and came charging outside screaming, "Dad! They’ve got Mom! And they want money!"
To get my cousin to write to her even once, my aunt resorted to sending him a check with this note: “Do not cash until you write me a thank you.”
A few weeks later, the check had cleared, yet no message had arrived. So she called him. “I told you not to cash the check until you’d written to thank me,” she complained.
“I didn’t cash the check,” he said. “I deposited it.”
A thief got married to a thief. They decided to give up their old ways and begin a family.
Fifteen months after getting married, they were expecting a son. At the hospital their son was born and his hand was closed.
They went for a closer look. They opened up his hand and were surprised by what they found.
The wristwatch of the doctor who delivered him.
A man was looking out his window when he noticed that there was a snail on one of his plants. So he took the snail and threw him as far as he could.
Ten years later the old man heard a tap tap tap on his window, and when he looked up he saw a very cross snail who looked at him and said, “Hey, what did you do that for?!”