family jokes

Herman: Mother, can I change my name?

Mother: Why do you want to change your name?

Herman: Because Dad says that he’s going to spank me as sure as my name is Herman.

Sarah dropped in on her sister Molly and found her sitting at the kitchen table, staring blankly at a half-empty cup of coffee, her three kids squabbling loudly in the other room.

"What's wrong Molly?" she asked.

Molly told her that she had morning sickness.

Surprised, Sarah said, "Hurray! I didn't even know you were pregnant!"

"I'm not," the harried middle-aged mother replied. "I'm just sick of mornings."

My young daughter was wearing a beat up old watch a friend had given her.

I asked her, "Does it tell the time?"

My daughter looked at me and said, "No, you have to look at it."