Favorite this joke A very self-centered actor was hauled into a court as a witness. When asked to state his occupation he announced quit confidently, "I am the world's greatest actor."
"Why did you tell them that?" a friend inquired afterward.
"Had to," was the answer. "I was under oath."
I was having trouble with my computer at work so I called IT Support...
He said, "Have you tried disabling cookies?"
I said, "Well, I once bit the legs off a gingerbread man?"
When it's sunny I think 'Beer garden.'
When it rains I usually go to the pub for a while.
When it's snowing I like to sit in front of the TV with a case of beer.
I'm starting to think I have a problem with the weather.
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