My girlfriend just asked me, "When we go to Egypt, can we go on a camel?"
I said, "As you wish," and booked it for her. She's going tomorrow...
I'm leaving in three weeks and flying there!
My wife was getting annoyed that I kept leaving freezer door open and it kept on defrosting.
We have since split up, it’s all water under the fridge.
Arriving home from work last night I saw that my son and daughter sat in silence. I asked what was wrong.
"Nothing's wrong, daddy," my daughter replied. "We're playing a game."
"What's the game?" I asked.
"Marriage," my son sighed.
"Doctor Doctor, I feel like a tennis racket."
"You must be too highly strung."