family jokes

A teenage boy had recently developed an interest in weight lifting. His father was skeptical, not knowing if his son would be responsible in this new venture, but accompanied him to the sports equipment store anyway. After perusing the shelves for a bit, the boy eventually found a set of weights he liked. "Dad, can we get these?"

The father looked the weight set over skeptically. "Hmm, I don't know."

"Please, Dad," the boy begged. "I promise I'll use them every day."

"You do realize this is a very big commitment, I assume."

"I know, Dad."

"They're also fairly expensive."

"I'll use them, Dad, I promise."

"Well....okay."

The father then pays for the equipment and they headed for the door.

"Awww," the son whined. "You mean I have to carry them to the car?"

I’ve been feeling a bit moody & run down recently, so I googled my symptoms to see what I have.

Kids…

I have kids!

Bill invites his family over for dinner one evening. As they sit at the table, the family notice that the plates don't seem very clean. "Pardon me, son," his mother asks. "But have these plates been washed?"

"Why, yes," Bill replies. "They're as clean as soap and water could get them." The family is skeptical but go ahead and eat the dinner; despite the state of the plates, the food is delicious.

After dinner is over, Bill takes the plates and sets them on the floor; he then turns to the doorway, whistles and calls, "Here, Soap! Here, Water!"