Why was the little shoe sad?
Because his Mother was a sneaker and his Dad was a loafer.
"It's not about how tired you are, it's about how tired you're making everyone else."
- My husband explaining bedtime to the kids -
My mother taught me about religion...
"You better pray that this will come out of the carpet!"
BARBER: (To a long-haired teenager) You're next.
TEENAGER: I'm not waiting for a haircut.
BARBER: What are you waiting for?
TEENAGER: Nothing. My Dad's looking for me and this is the last place in the world he would look.