family jokes

After shopping for most of the day, a couple returns to find their car has been stolen. They go to the police station to make a full report. Then, a detective drives them back to the parking lot to see if any evidence can be found at the scene of the crime. To their amazement, the car has been returned.

There is an envelope on the windshield with a note of apology and two tickets to a music concert. The note reads, "I apologize for taking your car, but my wife was having a baby and I had to hot-wire your ignition to rush her to the hospital. Please forgive the inconvenience. Here are two tickets for tonight's concert of Garth Brooks, the country-and-western music star."

Their faith in humanity restored, the couple attend the concert and return home late. They find their house has been robbed. Valuable goods have been taken from throughout the house. And, there is a note on the door reading, "Well, you still have your car. I have to put my newly born kid through college."

Joe: "That's a mighty fine stuffed lion, Moe."

Moe: "Why, thank you, Joe. This lion was caught by my uncle during one of his trips to Africa."

Joe: "Fascinating. What is it stuffed with?"

Moe: "My uncle."

Our 26-year-old son moved back home with the idea to stock away money to buy a condo. We never bothered asking how long he'd planned to stay, but I got a pretty good idea when I walked into his room recently.

In the corner was a milk jug with a few coins in it and a label that read: "Condo Down Payment"

Dad jokes leave me numb.

But math jokes leave me number.