family jokes

Mr. Benson: "Honey, have you seen the newspaper."

Mrs. Benson: "I wrapped the garbage in it."

Mr. Benson: "Oh, but I had wanted to see it."

Mrs. Benson: "Oh, there wasn't much the see, just a banana peel and some old coffee filters."

A woman is walking along the beach with her children, appearing to be looking for something. At this moment, a lifeguard traipses up to them. "Excuse me, ma'am," he says. "I had noticed you seemed to be looking for something and wish to offer my help."

"Yes, my husband is missing," the woman replies with concern. "My kids buried him in the sand and now we can't find him."

"Do you remember where you were sitting recently?" the lifeguard asks. The woman looks up at him incredulously. "Don't be silly, would you have remembered where you were sitting a year ago?"

Little boy: "Mommy, what happens when a car gets so old and rusty that it won't move anymore?"

Mom: "Someone sells it to your father."