family jokes
Favorite this joke I ordered new coats for my kids...
For convenience, I had them shipped directly to their school’s lost and found section.
My son wanted a proper drum kit for his birthday but I got him a miniature one.
I'm now expecting wee percussions.
Remember when we cried as kids, our parents replied with, "I'll give you something to cry about!"
We just never thought that, instead of hitting us, they'd destroy the housing market, quadruple college tuition, and melt the polar ice caps.
Fred, a waiter who had worked in a small restaurant for 53 years, passed away one night. His wife, Lois was heartbroken without him; she spent several days contacting psychics, channelers, anyone who could help her contact Fred, but unfortunately met without success.
One day, Lois' nephew came for a visit. She explained the situation to him, upon which he suggested the possibility that Fred's ghost might be haunting the restaurant. Becoming hopeful again, Lois waited until the restaurant had closed for the night, went in the back door and sat at a table. "Fred?" she called into the darkness. "Fred darling, are you here?"
A small voice called back, "Yes, dear."
Lois happily exclaimed, "Oh Fred, I've missed you so much! But can you speak a bit louder, please? I'm afraid I'm having trouble hearing you."
Fred replied, "I'm sorry, I can't."
Lois said, "Then could you come a bit closer, please?"
"Oh, I'm afraid I can't," Fred replied. "That's not my table."
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