family jokes

Father is giving his son some life advice.

Father: “If you want to be a good man, you must be honest and cautious in life.”

Son: “And what does that mean?”

Father: “You must fulfill everything you’ve promised.”

Son: “And cautious?”

Father: “Never make any promises.”

My teenage son asked me if I ever fell in love with a high school teacher.

"In fact, I did. She was gorgeous! I couldn't take my eyes off of her... I dreamt of a life together with her day and night."

"Wow! What happened with that, dad?" he excitedly asked.

"Your mom moved you to another school."

Waiter: I just wanted to let you know kids eat free.

Dad: Good, I'll have water and my daughter will have the steak and a kid's light beer.

Grandma: "Oh, what nice new boots! Where did you get them?"

Granddaughter: "At the store."

Grandma: "Which one?"

Granddaughter: "Both of them."