family jokes

At Sunday dinner I told my wife and my son a joke. They didn't laugh. They said I was not funny. So, the next week I took two pieces of paper and wrote "Humor" on the paper. I then found a scented candle my wife likes and taped one piece of paper to it.

I also took the glass jar where she puts her pennies, dimes, nickels and quarters and taped the other piece of paper. I put them both on the table. When my wife saw them, pointing to the candle she asked, "What's this?"

I said, "This is your Scent of Humor."

She then pointed to the glass jar with all the coins in it, "And what's this?"

My reply: "This is your Cents of Humor."

The wife ran into the house, screaming to her actor husband,...

"Darling, come quick! Your kids and my kids are beating up on our kids!"

After numerous attempts to get our 5 year old into bed, we had settled down for the evening, only to see him coming out of his room again.

His mother, now a little irritated at this last escape, asked, "Why are you out of your room?"

Our 5 year old just looked at his mother and stated, "Poop don't sleep."