Why is it cheaper to have a party in a haunted house?
Because a ghost will bring the boos.
I told the waitress my steak was bad.
She picked it up, slapped it, and threw it back down.
She said, "If it gives you any more trouble, let me know."
You can turn your ordinary sofa into a sofa bed simply by forgetting your wife’s birthday.
The Black Eyed Peas can sing us a tune...
But Chickpeas can only “hummus” one!