I sat in my hair stylist's chair and said, “Make me look sexy!”
She then got drunk.
Teacher: What kind of wife would you like Johnny?
Johnny: I would want a wife like the moon.
Teacher: Wow! What a choice...Do you want her to be beautiful and calm like the moon?
Johnny: No, I want her to arrive at night and disappear in the morning.
Everyone told Sam not to sing...
But Samsung anyway.
I decided to make sure my wife had a smile on her face every morning...
Now I can’t keep sharpies in the house anymore.