I told the waitress my steak was bad.
She picked it up, slapped it, and threw it back down.
She said, "If it gives you any more trouble, let me know."
You can turn your ordinary sofa into a sofa bed simply by forgetting your wife’s birthday.
The Black Eyed Peas can sing us a tune...
But Chickpeas can only “hummus” one!
"Hey Alexa, can you check my bank account and see what Apple product I can afford to buy...."
Alexa: "Apple Juice."