The young bullfrog, full of himself, went off to find a wife. He met a cute female porcupine, and quickly fell in love with her.

He told his father about his love, and his father was appalled! "Why would you want to marry a porcupine," he asked, bewildered.

"Well," said the young frog, "the elephant wouldn't have me."

Johnny, age 6, and his dad went for a drive. Upon returning home, Johnny's mom asked, "What did you see, today?"

Johnny replied, "3 idiots, 1 dumb fool, 4 morons, and 1 that Daddy said I should not tell you about."

Pete: Someone just stole $125 worth of groceries from my Jeep!

Bob: Well, your Jeep has no top. What did you expect?

Pete: No, no, it wasn't that... I forgot to lock my glove box!

I have a new job, telling people about the benefits of dried grapes...

I am raisin awareness!