1st man: "I think my Doctor has a vowel problem."
2nd man: "Don't you mean bowel problem?"
1st man: "No, it's the vowels. He changed the spelling of the Hippocratic Oath to Hippocritic and not only that, every time I visit his office I have to sign an IOU before He will see me."
"What would be the first thing you'd do if you had hydrophobia?" one resident doctor ask another.
"I'd ask for a pencil and paper," replied the other doctor.
"To make your last will?"
"No, to make a list of the people I want to bite."