doctor jokes

Mr. Jones: Doc, I can't sleep.

Doctor: You used to count sheep and told me it worked. Any idea why the sheep counting method quit working?

Mr. Jones: When I count the sheep now they're shivering and it's upsetting.

Doctor: When did this problem start?

Mr. Jones: Right after I bought a very warm wool blanket.

I said to my doctor, "I'm having serious problems with my memory."

He said, "Give me an example."

I said, "The other day I spent two hours in a multi-story car park trying to remember where I'd parked my car."

He laughed and said, "That's nothing to worry about, we've all done that."

I said, "But I don't own a car."

A frantic woman takes her kid to the doctor. "Doctor, doctor," she says. "My son swallowed a pen!"

The doctor says, “Calm down madam. I’ll take care of it. But let me get some information first." He takes a clipboard with a form and asks her, “Name?”

The woman replies, “Parker”

After a movement of thought the doctor says, “The name of the BOY, Madam, not the pen brand.”