doctor jokes

A man walked into a doctor's office and the receptionist asked him what he had. He replied, "I got shingles."
She said, "Fill out this form and supply your name, address, medical insurance number. When you're done, please take a seat."
Fifteen minutes later a nurse's aide came out and asked him what he had. He said, "I got shingles."
So she took down his height, weight, and complete medical history, then said, "Change into this gown and wait in the examining room."
A half hour later a nurse came in and asked him what he had. He said, "I got shingles."
So she gave him a blood test, a blood pressure test, an electrocardiogram, and told him to wait for the doctor.
An hour later the doctor came in and asked him what he had. He said, "Shingles."
The doctor gave him a full-cavity examination, and then said, "I just checked you out thoroughly, and I can't find shingles anywhere. " The man replied, "They're outside in the truck. Where do you want them?"

A man was feeling terribly out of sorts and decided to go to the doctor so
he made an appointment and showed up the next day. After the doctor
examined the man, the doctor invited him into his office for the
consultation. The doctor came into the room with three different bottles of pills.
The doctor told the man to take the red pill in the morning with a big glass
of water, the blue pill in the afternoon with a big glass of water and the
green pill in the evening with a big glass of water.
The man, terribly shocked at the amount of pills he had to take asked the
doctor what in the world was wrong with him.
The doctor replied, "You aren't getting enough water."

A pregnant woman gets into a car accident and falls into a deep coma. 
Asleep for nearly six months, she wakes up and sees that she is no longer pregnant. Frantically, she asks the doctor about her baby. 
The doctor replies, "Ma'am, you had twins! A boy and a girl. The babies are fine. Your brother came in and named them." 
The woman thinks to herself, "Oh no, not my brother -- he's an idiot!" Expecting the worst, she asks the doctor, "Well, what's the girl's name?" 
"Denise," the doctor says. 
The new mother thinks, "Wow, that's not a bad name! Guess I was wrong about my brother. I like Denise!" Then she asks the doctor, "What's the boy's name?" 
The doctor replies, DeNephew. 

A man's doctor told him one day, "I have bad news and worse news." "Give me the bad news first," the man said. The doctor replied, "The bad news is, you only have 24 hours to live." "What?!? That's terrible! What could possibly be worse?" The doctor's answer: "I've been trying to reach you since yesterday."