A pregnant woman gets into a car accident and falls into a deep coma.
Asleep for nearly six months, she wakes up and sees that she is no longer pregnant. Frantically, she asks the doctor about her baby.
The doctor replies, "Ma'am, you had twins! A boy and a girl. The babies are fine. Your brother came in and named them."
The woman thinks to herself, "Oh no, not my brother -- he's an idiot!" Expecting the worst, she asks the doctor, "Well, what's the girl's name?"
"Denise," the doctor says.
The new mother thinks, "Wow, that's not a bad name! Guess I was wrong about my brother. I like Denise!" Then she asks the doctor, "What's the boy's name?"
The doctor replies, DeNephew.
A man's doctor told him one day, "I have bad news and worse news." "Give me the bad news first," the man said. The doctor replied, "The bad news is, you only have 24 hours to live." "What?!? That's terrible! What could possibly be worse?" The doctor's answer: "I've been trying to reach you since yesterday."
What does it mean when the doctor says you have six months to live? You have five months to pay!
How can you tell if you have a cheap doctor? He takes Friday off to play miniature golf.
When does a doctor suggest emergency surgery? When he's ready for a new sports car!
What advice don't you want to hear from a doctor before an operation? Whatever you do, don't go into the light.
A lady wasn't feeling well, so she went to the doctor.
Doctor asked if she ever had chicken pox?
Her reply: "No, but I have had chicken nuggets."