doctor jokes

Somehow we always think we are aging at a slower rate than everyone else, this was true of this older woman who is seeing a doctor for the first time. She was taken into a room and told to “make herself comfortable.”

While reading the doctor's diploma on the wall, she realizes that she went to high school with him many years ago. The doctor enters the room; he is very gray, and slightly bent over from old age, and says, “Hello, how can I help you?”

The woman asks, “Did you attend Roosevelt High School?”

“Yes I did,” the doctor answered.

She asks, “Class of 49?”

“Yes, I was,” was the answered.

The woman was delighted, and said, “You were in my class!”

The doctor responded, “What did you teach?”

Did you hear about the man in the hospital who's doctor came into his room an said "I have some bad and good news for you". The man said; “What is the bad news? The doctor said; "We need to cut off both your legs”. The man said, “What is the good news”. The doctor answered, “The man in the bed next to you wants to buy your slippers!

Grandma Goldberg, a woman of 85, was slowly ambling
down the street when she met her physician Dr. Cohen.
Dr. Cohen, a dapper graying man in his early 60's
asked the elderly lady-- "Mrs. Goldberg how are you
feeling?"

For a long moment the woman gave the good doctor a
terrible stare and then she said -- "You ask me how
I'm feeling! I'll tell you how I'm feeling!! My legs
hurt, my chest is sore, my heart is beating too fast
and I can't sleep!!! I have horrible headaches
and stomach pains too!"

The good doctor looked at the elderly lady with
compassion, "If you're feeling so awful, why don't you
come and see me right away?"

Grandma Goldberg let out a sigh and said, "I was
just waiting until I felt a little better."

Looking down at his patient, the doctor decided to tell him the truth. “I fell that I must tell you: You are a very sick man. I’m sure you would want to know the facts. I don’t think you have much time left. Now, is there anyone you would like to see?”
Bending down toward the sick man, the doctor heard him softly answer, “Yes.”
“Who is it?”
In a little stronger tone, the patient said, “Another doctor.”