doctor jokes

Three medical students were discussing what specialties they were planning to go into when they finished school.
One said, "I want to be a brain surgeon. That's the frontier, the cutting edge of medicine, where so many discoveries are being made."
The second said, "I want to be a heart surgeon. There are so many people who need that kind of help; look at all the good I could do."
The third said he wanted to be a dermatologist. When the others had finished laughing, they asked him why on earth he wanted to be a skin doctor.
"Listen," he replied. "Your patients never die, they never get well, and they never get you up at night."

A man came to the emergency room with a series of long, jagged tear marks on his cheek and neck, as though he had been clawed by some large animal.
"What happened to you?" asked the doctor who was examining him.
"Chain saw accident," the man replied.
"Well, you're lucky," the doctor said; "I've seen worse."
"It wasn't turned on," the man replied.

A doctor taking care of his last appointment of the day gives this man a thorough exam and finds him in optimal health. As the man is going out the door, he had a heart attack and died. The doctor looks at the man and tells the nurse, “help me turn him around to it looks like he was just coming in.”

A psychiatrist's secretary walks into his study and says,
"There's a gentleman in the waiting room asking to see you.
Claims he's invisible."

The psychiatrist responds, "Tell him I can't see him."