A man shows up for his doctor's appointment with a piece of celery in each ear and a carrot in each of his nostrils. He says to the doctor, "Doc, I'm not feeling well." Whereupon the doctor replied," Perhaps you're not eating right."
Doctor my son swallowed my pen, what do I do?
Use a pencil until I get there.
Doctor, Doctor I think I am suffering from De-ja vu.
Didn't I see you yesterday?