The psychiatrist said sternly to the patient: “If you think you are walking out of here cured after only three sessions, you are crazy.”
After many sessions the psychiatrist says to his patient: Congratulations, Sir, you are cured. The patient says: Some cure. Before I was Alexander the Great. Now I’m nobody.
Somehow we always think we are aging at a slower rate than everyone else, this was true of this older woman who is seeing a doctor for the first time. She was taken into a room and told to “make herself comfortable.”
While reading the doctor's diploma on the wall, she realizes that she went to high school with him many years ago. The doctor enters the room; he is very gray, and slightly bent over from old age, and says, “Hello, how can I help you?”
The woman asks, “Did you attend Roosevelt High School?”
“Yes I did,” the doctor answered.
She asks, “Class of 49?”
“Yes, I was,” was the answered.
The woman was delighted, and said, “You were in my class!”
The doctor responded, “What did you teach?”
Did you hear about the man in the hospital who's doctor came into his room an said "I have some bad and good news for you". The man said; “What is the bad news? The doctor said; "We need to cut off both your legs”. The man said, “What is the good news”. The doctor answered, “The man in the bed next to you wants to buy your slippers!