doctor jokes

A Man rushed into a doctor's office, jumped on his back, and started screaming, "One! Two! Three! Four!" "Wait a minute!" yelled the doctor, trying to get free. “What do you think you're doing?" The man said, "Well doctor, they did say I could count on you!"

Doctor,” the man said to his ophthalmologist, “I was looking in the mirror this morning, and I notice that one of my eyes is different from the other!”
“Oh”? Replied the doctor “Which one?”

Psychiatrist to patient: "You have nothing to worry about - anyone who can pay my bill is certainly not a failure."

Having completed a course of analysis with his psychiatrist, John tells a friend:
“I always thought I was indecisive”
Friend: “And now?”
John: “I’m not so sure.”