Doctor,” the man said to his ophthalmologist, “I was looking in the mirror this morning, and I notice that one of my eyes is different from the other!”
“Oh”? Replied the doctor “Which one?”
Psychiatrist to patient: "You have nothing to worry about - anyone who can pay my bill is certainly not a failure."
Having completed a course of analysis with his psychiatrist, John tells a friend:
“I always thought I was indecisive”
Friend: “And now?”
John: “I’m not so sure.”
Patient: Doctor I've been seeing striped cows!"
Doctor: "Have you seen a Psychiatrist?"
Patient: "No only striped cows!"