doctor jokes

A doctor told his patient after reviewing his x-rays he needed
surgery costing $5000.00. The patient said he only had $500.00 and
what could be done. The doctor said, "Well, I can always touch-up
your x-rays."

A man goes to see his doctor. The doctor asks what is wrong and the man says, "Doctor, I think I'm a moth." To this the doctor responds, "You think you're a moth? Well I don't think you need a doctor. Sounds like what you need is a therapist." "Yeah I know," replies the patient. "I was on my way to see a therapist, but I came in here because I saw your light was on."

At a psychiatrist a man says, Doctor, I think there are two of me.
The doctor replies, Well, why don’t you both sit down and one of you tell me all about it.

A man visits his doctor and says, doctor, I keep seeing green Martians before my eyes.
The doctor asks have you seen a psychiatrist?
The patient says, "No Only green Martians!"