doctor jokes

Category: "Doctor Jokes"
$5.00 won 1 votes

Patient: "It's been one month since my last visit and I still feel miserable."

Doctor: "Did you follow the instructions on the medicine I gave you?"

Patient: "I sure did. The bottle said 'keep tightly closed'."

1 votes

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Joke Won 10th Place won $5.00
posted by "wadejagz" |
0 votes

I called the Doctor this week. I said, "Doctor, I think my wife is dead."

He replied, "What makes you think that?"

I said, "Well, the sex hasn't changed, but the dishes are building up."

0 votes

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posted by "Paul Sainthouse" |
$9.00 won 12 votes

Nurse: "How old are you?"

Patient: "None of your business."

Nurse: "But the doctor must know your age for his records. Please, just tell me, I'm going to find it out anyway."

Patient: "Well, first, multiply twenty by two, then add ten. Got that?"

Nurse: "Yes. Fifty."

Patient: "All right, now subtract fifty, and tell me, what do you get?"

Nurse: "Zero."

Patient: "Right. And that's exactly the chance of me telling you my age."

12 votes

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Joke Won 6th Place won $9.00
posted by "Leibel" |
0 votes

The mother of a problem child was advised by a psychiatrist, "You are far too upset and worried about your son. I suggest you take tranquilizers regularly."

On her next visit the psychiatrist asked, "Have the tranquilizers calmed you down?"

"Yes" the mother answered.

"And how is your son now?" he asked.

"Eh, who cares?" she replied.

0 votes

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posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |