A mother was worried that her three-year-old son was unusually precocious, and took him to a psychiatrist.
"Right," said the shrink, "We'll just try a few simple tests." To the boy, he said "Say a few words - anything that comes into your mind."
The boy turned to his mother and asked, "Does he want logically constructed sentences or just a few random and purely isolated words?"
A man goes to the doctor with a swollen foot. After a careful examination, the doctor gives the man a pill big enough to choke a horse.
"I'll be right back with some water," the doctor tells him.
The doctor has been gone a while and the man loses patience. He hobbles out to the drinking fountain, forces the pill down his throat and gobbles down water until the pill clears his throat. He hobbles back into the examining room.
Just then the doctor comes back with a bucket of warm water, "Okay, after the tablet dissolves, soak that foot for about 20 minutes."
One doctor ask another if, "Are you any good at palmistry?"
"Well, not exactly. However, the other night I did look at a lady's hand, and one glance told me she was going to be lucky," he replied.
"Why how's that?" the first doctor ask.
The reply: "Well it had four aces in it."