doctor jokes

Category: "Doctor Jokes"
$25.00 won 2 votes

Jane calls the doctor in a panic. "Doctor, doctor! My little Jimmy swallowed a dozen aspirin. What should I do?"

The doctor asked Jane, "Are you sure it was a dozen?"

The frantic mother says, "Absolutely! Doctor, I'm scared to death!"

The doctor tells the mother, "Calm down. Is little Jimmy crying?"

Jane says, "No."

"Is he sleeping?" asks the doctor.

"No," says Jimmy's mom.

The doctor goes on with routine questions, "Is his color funny?"

Again Jane says, "No."

"Did Jimmy throw up?" asks the methodical doctor.

"No," says the worried mom. "But I'm so scared. All that aspirin...shouldn't I do something?"

To which the doctor says, "Try giving him a headache."

2 votes

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Joke Won 2nd Place won $25.00
posted by "Ryan Faidley" |
1 votes

Mr. Jones: Doc, I can't sleep.

Doctor: You used to count sheep and told me it worked. Any idea why the sheep counting method quit working?

Mr. Jones: When I count the sheep now they're shivering and it's upsetting.

Doctor: When did this problem start?

Mr. Jones: Right after I bought a very warm wool blanket.

1 votes

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posted by "Marty" |
1 votes

I said to my doctor, "I'm having serious problems with my memory."

He said, "Give me an example."

I said, "The other day I spent two hours in a multi-story car park trying to remember where I'd parked my car."

He laughed and said, "That's nothing to worry about, we've all done that."

I said, "But I don't own a car."

1 votes

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posted by "aod318" |
1 votes

A frantic woman takes her kid to the doctor. "Doctor, doctor," she says. "My son swallowed a pen!"

The doctor says, “Calm down madam. I’ll take care of it. But let me get some information first." He takes a clipboard with a form and asks her, “Name?”

The woman replies, “Parker”

After a movement of thought the doctor says, “The name of the BOY, Madam, not the pen brand.”

1 votes

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posted by "Raj Padmanathan " |