doctor jokes

Category: "Doctor Jokes"
$8.00 won 4 votes

Two doctors and an HMO manager die and line up together at the Pearly Gates. One doctor steps forward and tells St. Peter, "As a pediatric surgeon, I saved hundreds of children."

St. Peter lets him enter. The next doctor says, "As a psychiatrist, I helped thousands of people live better lives."

St. Peter tells him to go ahead. The last man says, "I was an HMO manager. I got countless families cost-effective health care."

St. Peter replies, "You may enter. But... you can only stay for three days. After that, you got to go!"

4 votes

CATEGORY Doctor Jokes
Joke Won 7th Place won $8.00
posted by "Adie Peter" |
1 votes

A chemist walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist, "Do you have any acetylsalicylic acid?"

"You mean aspirin?" asked the pharmacist.

"That's it! I can never remember that word."

1 votes

CATEGORY Doctor Jokes
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |
3 votes

Two very successful psychoanalysts occupied offices in the same building. One was 40 years old, the other over 70.

They rode on the elevator together at the end of an unbearably hot, sticky day. The younger man was completely done in, and he noted with some resentment that his senior was fresh and relaxed.

"I don't understand," he marveled, "how you can listen to patients from morning till night on a day like this and still look so spry and unbothered when it's over?"

The older analyst said simply, "Who listens?"

3 votes

CATEGORY Doctor Jokes
posted by "HENNE" |
$50.00 won 5 votes
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"Doctor, doctor, I swallowed a bone."

"Are you choking?"

"No, I really did!"

5 votes

CATEGORY Doctor Jokes
Joke Won 1st Place won $50.00
posted by "RS" |