doctor jokes

A woman walks into her psychiatrist's office and says, "Hey doc, you know how we have been talking about saying things that don't come out the way we meant them to?"

The psychiatrist replies, "You mean Freudian slips?"

"Exactly, those. Well, I had the most amazing one last night. I was eating dinner with my husband, and I meant to say, 'Honey, could you please pass the salt,' but instead I said, 'You damn fool, you ruined my life.'"

There was once an aspiring veterinarian who put himself through veterinary school working nights as a taxidermist.

Upon graduation, he decided he could combine his two vocations to better serve the needs of his patients and their owners, while doubling his practice and, therefore, his income.

He opened his own offices with a sign on the door saying:

"Dr Jones, Veterinary Medicine and Taxidermy - Either way, you get your dog back."

A woman goes to a psychiatrist and says, "Doctor, you've got to do something about my husband. He thinks he's a refrigerator!"

"I wouldn't worry too much about it," the doctor replies. "Lots of people have harmless delusions. It will pass."

"But you don't understand," the woman insists. "He sleeps with his mouth open, and the little light keeps me awake."