A man comes to his doctors office all battered and bruised. The doctor sees him and asks him how he got injured.
The man said there was a knock at his front door. When he opened the door there stood a six foot cockroach. He said he tried to shut the door real quick but before he could react the cockroach knocked him back against the far wall. He said the cockroach threw him around from wall to wall, punched and kicked him and then just turned and left.
The doctor said, "This is the flu season. I've been trying to contact all my patients and let them know there's a real nasty bug going around this year."
Doctor and patient conversation.
Doctor: "Can you give me your name and date of birth?"
Patient: "Why? Are you not happy with yours?"
Doctor: "Let's just move on shall we... can you take a deep breathe for me?"
Patient: "Have you tried oxygen?"
A guy goes to the doctor and after a thorough examination the doc says, "I'm going to put you in an isolation room."
The guy replies, "Will that make me better?"
"No. I am also going to put you on a diet of dry wafer biscuits."
"Will that make me better?"
"No," the doctor replied, "but it's the only food that'll fit under the door."