My doctor told me that I have a condition known as narco-somnia, which has symptoms of both narcolepsy and insomnia.
That's probably why I always sleep with one eye open.
People who think that time heals everything have obviously never tried waiting it out in a doctor's waiting room!
Patient: "Doctor, I feel as though nobody understands me."
Doctor: "What do you mean by that?"
What's the difference between a psychiatrist and a psychologist?
If you say, 'I hate my mother', a psychiatrist will ask, "Why do you say that?"
Whereas a psychologist will say, "Thank you for sharing that with us."