doctor jokes

Category: "Doctor Jokes"
2 votes

A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone. He said, "If you don't do the following, your husband will surely die."

1. Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast.

2. Be pleasant and make sure he is in a good mood.

3. For lunch, make him a nutritious meal.

4. For dinner, prepare him an especially nice meal.

5. Don't burden him with chores as he probably had a hard day.

6. Don't discuss your problems with him.

On the way home, the husband asked his wife what the doctor said to her. "You're going to die," she replied.

2 votes

CATEGORY Doctor Jokes
posted by "HENNE" |
5 votes

A person went to an interview of a healthcare organization. After the first question he was disqualified.

Interview Board: Why do people have different kind of blood groups?

Applicant: Because mosquitoes love to enjoy different kind of flavors.

5 votes

CATEGORY Doctor Jokes
posted by "Hiran Chamuditha" |
$5.00 won 4 votes

This poor man is facing surgery on both his feet because of severe wounds. The doctor has warned him that he cannot tell how bad the damage is until he gets him in the operating room and he has prepared the man for the worst.

After surgery, the man is slowly waking up and he sees the surgeon approaching his bed. The doc looks at him and says, "I have good news news and I have bad news - which would you like first?"

The man nervously responds, "Give me the bad news first." The doc says, "I had to take both your feet"

"Oh my, what could possibly be the good news?" says the man.

"The guy in the bed next to you wants to buy your slippers!"

4 votes

CATEGORY Doctor Jokes
Joke Won 10th Place won $5.00
posted by "Professor" |
$7.00 won 4 votes
 

I’m a registered nurse, not a doctor, but here’s the story:

Patient was a newly diagnosed diabetic who needed to be taught how to inject insulin. So the diabetes educator did the good old routine of taking an orange, drawing up insulin, then injecting it into the orange. He then made the patient repeat this practice routine a few times.

The patient goes home, etc. He comes back in a week and his blood sugar is out of control. They ask him if he's been taking his insulin and he goes "of course." So they decide to ask him to demonstrate how he injects insulin. The patient goes "sure, I just need an orange."

At this point I started face palming hard because I know where this one is heading. But of course they got him a orange and a vial of insulin with a syringe. So the guy draws up the insulin correctly, takes the syringe, injects it into the orange, and then says "and then I eat the orange."

4 votes

CATEGORY Doctor Jokes
Joke Won 8th Place won $7.00
posted by "HENNE" |