After completing his annual physical on a patient, the doctor asked if there was anything that was bothering him. Joe replied, "Yeah, my hearing."
The doctor examined Joe's ear and removed some ear wax. He then asked Joe if his hearing was better.
Joe said, "I don't know, the hearing isn't till next Tuesday."
After their baby was born, the panicked father went to see the Obstetrician. "Doctor," the man said, "I don't mind telling you, but I'm a little upset because my daughter has red hair. She can't possibly be mine!"
"Nonsense," the doctor said. "Even though you and your wife both have black hair, one of your ancestors may have contributed red hair to the gene pool."
"It isn't possible," the man insisted. "This can't be, our families on both sides had jet-black hair for generations."
"Well," said the doctor, "let me ask you this. How often do you have sex?"
The man seemed a bit ashamed. "I've been working very hard for the past year. We only made love once or twice every few months."
"Well, there you have it!" The doctor said confidently.
"It's rust."
A small little lady goes into her doctor's office complaining of an irritated crotch. After an examination the doctor sighs, "I don't seem to see any problem. Does it get better or worse at any time?"
"Yeah, its really bad whenever it rains." she replies.
"Well, then," says the Doc, "Next time it rains, get in here at once, and we'll take another look at it."
Two weeks later it's raining really hard, and the little lady shows up at the doctor's office. "Doctor, it's really bad today. Please you have to help me!"
"Well, let's have a look," he says as he lifts her up onto the table.
"Oh, yes, I think I see the problem. Nurse bring me a surgical kit. Don't worry ma'am this won't hurt a bit."
The little lady closes her eyes in painful anticipation. The doctor begins snipping away and finishes a few minutes later. "There you go, ma'am, try that."
She walks back and forth around the office and exclaims, "That's great,Doc, what did you do?"
To which the doctor replied, "I just took a couple of inches off the top of your rain boots."
I went to the doctor yesterday because I was having strange dreams.
Told the doc that one night I dreamed I was a wigwam and the next night I dreamed I was a teepee.
Doc told me to relax. I’m just two ‘tents’!