doctor jokes

A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the engine of a Harley Davidson motorcycle when he spotted a well-known heart surgeon in his shop. The mechanic shouted across the garage, "Hey, Doc, can I ask you a question?" The surgeon a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic working on the motorcycle. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, "So Doc, look at this engine. I open its heart, take the valves out, fix 'em, put 'em back in, and when I finish, it works just like new. So how come I get such a small salary and you get the really big bucks, when you and I are doing basically the same work?"

The surgeon paused, smiled and leaned over, and whispered to the mechanic... "Try doing it with the engine running."

First year University medical students were attending their first Anatomy Class. They all gathered around the table and there was a real dead body on the table. The Professor, started the class by telling them two important qualities of a doctor.

He said, "The first quality is to never be disgusted about anything in the body." For example, he put his finger in the dead body's arm pit and put the finger in his own mouth & tasted it.

Then he told the students to do what he did. The students hesitated for several minutes, but eventually everyone inserted their fingers in the body's arm pit and tasted it too. When everyone finished tasting their fingers, they were all frowning.

Then the professor looked at them and said: "The second quality is 'Observation'. I inserted my middle finger but tasted the index finger... Now learn to pay attention!"

A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone. He said, "If you don't do the following, your husband will surely die."

1. Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast.

2. Be pleasant and make sure he is in a good mood.

3. For lunch, make him a nutritious meal.

4. For dinner, prepare him an especially nice meal.

5. Don't burden him with chores as he probably had a hard day.

6. Don't discuss your problems with him.

On the way home, the husband asked his wife what the doctor said to her. "You're going to die," she replied.

A person went to an interview of a healthcare organization. After the first question he was disqualified.

Interview Board: Why do people have different kind of blood groups?

Applicant: Because mosquitoes love to enjoy different kind of flavors.