doctor jokes

I have this big problem, doctor – everyone is calling me crazy just because I love hot dogs …
- That’s stupid, in my opinion – frankly, I adore hot dogs too, but nobody calls me crazy ...
- Really? Great, doctor! Why don’t you come along with me and I’ll show you my collection!

A brain surgeon told a patient “you have a growing mass in your brain, it needs to be tended to immediately or it will kill you"
The patient agreed to surgery the very next day.
Immediately after opening the skull the surgeon took a biopsy of the ugly growing mass and gave it to the surgical nurse with instructions to rush it to the lab and have it analyzed.
After a few minutes the nurse returned with the results and stood silently and grimly in front of the surgeon…. The surgeon finally asked…."WELL IS IT MALIGNANT?"
The nurse replied…" I'm afraid it’s worse" …" WORSE", the surgeon barked, "WHAT CAN BE WORSE THAN MALIGNANT?"
The nurse bowed her head and replied solemnly, "it's Liberal Progressive"…!!!

An Old man went to the doctor complaining of a terrible pain in his leg. “I am afraid it’s just old age”, replied the doctor, “there is nothing we can do about it.” “That can’t be” fumed the old man, “you don’t know what you are doing.” “How can you possibly know I am wrong?” countered the doctor. “Well it’s quite obvious,” the old man replied, “my other leg is fine, and it’s the exact same age!”

A guy tells his psychiatrist, “I always have this weird dream at night. I am locked in a room with a door on which there is a sign. I try to push it with all my strength, but no matter how hard I try, it won’t budge." The psychiatrist muses, “Interesting." But tell me what does the sign on the door say? The guy replies, “It says 'Pull'”!!!