First man: I wonder how long a person can live without a brain?

Second man: How old are you?

Customer: I'd like some poison for mice please.

Chemist: Have you tried Boots?

Customer: I want to poison them, not kick them to death.

Customer : I'd like to try that dress in the window.

Assistant : I'm sorry madam, I'm afraid you'll have to use the fitting room, like everybody else.

Boy : I lost my dog!

Girl : Well, why don't you put an advertisement in the paper?

Boy : What's the good of that my dog can't read?