"Doctor my husband is doing weird things lately," a lady complains to her psychiatrist. "I strongly feel something wrong with him."
"What is he doing, Mrs. Bankman, that looks weird to you?" asks the doctor.
"We'll he drinks his cup of tea in the morning and eats the cup leaving the cup's handle out."
The doctor looks startled and after the initial confusion he goes, "It is weird, he leaves the best part out."
A lady is overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet.
“I want you to stop eating regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat the procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you’ll have lost at least five pounds.
When the lady returns, she’s lost nearly 20 pounds.
“Why, that’s amazing!” the doctor says. “Did you follow my instructions?”
The lady nods. “I’ll tell you, though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day.” “From hunger, you mean?” said the doctor.
“No, from skipping,” replied the lady.
I went to the Doctor and told him I must have a sleep disorder.
He ask whys that? I said well I go to sleep at 10pm and wake at 6am.
Doc said well that's great what's wrong with that?
I said well my heads on the pillow when I go to sleep but when I wake my feet are on the pillows.
He thought for awhile then replied...
Set your alarm for 2am that way neither will be on the pillows.