doctor jokes
Favorite this joke A woman goes to the doctor's and says, "Doctor, Doctor, you have to help me. Every time I go to the bathroom, DIMES come out!"
The doctor tells her to relax, go home, rest with her feet up and come back in a week. A week later the woman returns and says, "Doctor, Doctor, it's gotten worse! Every time I go to the bathroom, QUARTERS come out!! What's wrong with me?"
Again the doctor tells her to relax, go home, rest with her feet up and come back in a week. Another week passes and the woman returns and yells, "Doctor, Doctor, I'm still not getting better! Every time I go to the bathroom, HALF-DOLLARS come out! WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH ME?!!"
The doctor says, "Relax, Relax,... you're just going through your change!"
At a psychiatrist's office:
- Do you consume alcohol?
- No.
- Do you smoke?
- No.
- Do you use drugs?
- No.
- Do you play cards?
- No.
- Do you run after other women?
- No.
- So why did you come to me?
- You see, doc, I have one little problem... I lie a lot.
In a Psychiatric Hospital, a Journalist asks the Doctor: "How do you determine whether to admit a person as a patient or not?
Dr: Well ... we'd fill a bathtub with water and then give a teaspoon, a glass and a bucket to the patient and ask them to empty the bathtub.
Journalist: Oh, obviously a normal person would use the bucket because its bigger.
Dr: No, a normal person would pull the drain plug! Please go to bed #39. We will soon start further investigations on you.
An engineer was removing the engine parts from a motorcycle when he saw a famous heart surgeon in his shop. He went to him and said, "Look at this engine... I opened its heart, took the valves out, repaired them and put them back, so why do I get such a small salary and you get huge sums?"
The doctor smiled at the engineer and came close to his ear and said, "Try the same when the engine is running."
The engineer smiled back came close to doctors ear and said, "I can take any dead engine and make it alive again, can you?"
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