doctor jokes

Category: "Doctor Jokes"
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A man goes to a psychiatrist. The receptionist asks him why he is there. The man complains, "I keep seeing giraffes even if there are none."

The receptionist asks, "Have you ever seen a psychiatrist?"

The man replies, "No, just giraffes."

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posted by "Leibel" |
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My doctor told me I need to get more cardio exercise and my wife agreed with him. I said, "What about love making, does that count?"

My wife said, "Yes, but I think you're going to need more than three minutes a day."

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posted by "Marty" |
1 votes

Doctor: "I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live."

Patient: "What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!"

Doctor: "Nine."

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posted by "jwolle700" |
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Charlie's wife, Lucy, had been after him for several weeks to paint the seat on their toilet. Finally, he got around to doing it while Lucy was out. After finishing, he left to take care of another matter before she returned.

She came in and undressed to take a shower. Before getting in the shower, she sat on the toilet. As she tried to stand up, she realized that the not-quite-dry epoxy paint had glued her to the toilet seat.
About that time, Charlie got home and realized her predicament. They both pushed and pulled without any success whatsoever. Finally, in desperation, Charlie undid the toilet seat bolts. Lucy wrapped a sheet around herself and Charlie drove her to the hospital emergency room. The ER Doctor got her into a position where he could study how to free her.

Lucy tried to lighten the embarrassment of it all by saying, "Well, Doctor, I'll bet you've never seen anything like this before."

The Doctor replied, "Actually, I've seen lots of them... I just never saw one mounted and framed."

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posted by "CPipe" |