doctor jokes

Category: "Doctor Jokes"
$15.00 won 17 votes

In a Psychiatric Hospital, a Journalist asks the Doctor: "How do you determine whether to admit a person as a patient or not?

Dr: Well ... we'd fill a bathtub with water and then give a teaspoon, a glass and a bucket to the patient and ask them to empty the bathtub.

Journalist: Oh, obviously a normal person would use the bucket because its bigger.

Dr: No, a normal person would pull the drain plug! Please go to bed #39. We will soon start further investigations on you.

17 votes

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Joke Won 3rd Place won $15.00
posted by "mickey" |
$7.00 won 17 votes

An engineer was removing the engine parts from a motorcycle when he saw a famous heart surgeon in his shop. He went to him and said, "Look at this engine... I opened its heart, took the valves out, repaired them and put them back, so why do I get such a small salary and you get huge sums?"
 
The doctor smiled at the engineer and came close to his ear and said, "Try the same when the engine is running."

The engineer smiled back came close to doctors ear and said, "I can take any dead engine and make it alive again, can you?"

17 votes

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Joke Won 8th Place won $7.00
posted by "mickey" |
$12.00 won 7 votes

A man working with an electric saw accidentally cuts off all of his fingers. At the emergency room, his doctor says, "Give me the fingers, and I'll see what I can do."

The injured man replies, "But I don't have the fingers!"

"Why didn't you bring them?" the doctor asks.

The injured man responds, "Doc, I couldn't pick them up."

7 votes

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Joke Won 4th Place won $12.00
posted by "tweetyr" |
0 votes

The patient runs into his psychiatrist's office and says, "Doc, I think I'm a tepee, no I think I'm a wigwam, no I think I'm a tepee, no I think I'm a wigwam, no I think I'm a tepee, no I think I'm a wigwam!"

The psychiatrist looks at him and says, "Relax, you're just too tents!"

0 votes

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posted by "Professor" |