doctor jokes

What's the difference between a psychiatrist and a psychologist?

If you say, 'I hate my mother', a psychiatrist will ask, "Why do you say that?"

Whereas a psychologist will say, "Thank you for sharing that with us."

A zombie goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, I have a horrible rash!"

The doctor says, "Son, I'm sorry but that's not a rash, that's called your face."

Doctors were told to contribute to the construction of a new wing at the hospital. What did they do?

The allergists voted to scratch it.
The dermatologists preferred no rash moves.
The podiatrists thought it was a big step forward.

The gastroenterologists had a gut feeling about it.
The ophthalmologists considered the idea short-sighted.
The neurologists thought the administration had a lot of nerve.

The orthopedists issued a joint resolution.
The pediatricians said, "grow up."
The psychiatrists thought it was madness.

The surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing.
The radiologists could see right through it.
The internists thought it was a hard pill to swallow.

The cardiologists didn't have the heart to say no.
And the plastic surgeons said, "this puts a whole new face on the matter."