doctor jokes

Category: "Doctor Jokes"
4 votes

Of all the doctors, it's the egomaniac optometrists you've really gotta keep an "I" on!

4 votes

CATEGORY Doctor Jokes
posted by "MouthDiapers" |
1 votes

A man walked into a therapist's office looking very depressed, "Doc, you've got to help me."

"What's the problem?" the doctor inquired.

"Well, I'm 35 years old and I have no luck with the ladies. No matter how hard I try, I just seem to scare them away."

"My friend, this is not a serious problem. You just need to work on your self-esteem. Each morning, I want you to get up and run to the bathroom mirror. Tell yourself that you are a good person, a fun person, and an attractive person. But say it with real conviction. Within a week you'll have women buzzing all around you."

The man seemed content with this advice and walked out of the office a bit excited. Three weeks later he returned with the same downtrodden expression on his face. "Did my advice not work?" asked the doctor.

"It worked. For the past several weeks I've met several great women. All of them funny and charming, everything a man could ask for."

"So, what's your problem?"

"I don't have a problem," the man replied. "My wife does."

1 votes

CATEGORY Doctor Jokes
posted by "HENNE" |
$12.00 won 4 votes

What did the teen tell his doctor upon waking up in the hospital during a thunderstorm?

He thought he was safe from the lightning because he was "grounded".

4 votes

CATEGORY Doctor Jokes
Joke Won 4th Place won $12.00
posted by "MouthDiapers" |
$50.00 won 14 votes
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In a psychiatrist's waiting room two patients are having a conversation. One says to the other, "Why are you here?"

The second answers, "I'm Napoleon, so the doctor told me to come here."

The first is curious and asks, "How do you know that you're Napoleon?"

The second responds, "God told me I was."

At this point, a patient on the other side of the room shouts, "NO I DIDN'T!"

14 votes

CATEGORY Doctor Jokes
Joke Won 1st Place won $50.00
posted by "mickey" |